Manage your mind@work

Dear friend,

Do you experience stress, feel restlessness and unfulfilled? Would you like to experience more peace of mind, meaning and fulfilment? And how can you find more peace of mind, meaning and fulfilment? I am happy to see that this book has reached you. This book can help you in your journey of self-transformation to find more peace of mind, meaning and fulfilment. Before we start to look at the modern science and ancient wisdom to achieve this, I will first share my personal story and aspirations for writing this book.

My passion is to help people and organizations flourish through mind training. It took some time in my life before I discovered this passion. I grew up in a very stable and loving environment. My father and mother were always there for me, my two brothers and my sister. Due to them I had a very good youth and I was able to develop myself well in terms of education as well as in sports. I did not have much problems in primary school. I was a good swimmer and loved to play football. Not being able to really make friends and having a lack of self-confidence, my secondary school was a bit more challenging. I did get along with people and I did not have any enemies, but neither did I have any real friends. I was an introvert and did not make contact easily with others. I preferred to be on my own, yet I felt lonely at times. Later when I went to study in university, I was able to luckily meet some like-minded people. And, as I slowly matured, it became easier for me to connect with others and make friends. 

I studied industrial engineering and management, and started my career as an IT-consultant. Seeking the adventure and feeling a drive for doing meaningful work I moved to Nepal to work in development aid as an organizational development advisor. Gradually I developed a strong interest in developing myself and other people. I joined FranklinCovey South Asia as a personal leadership trainer. In this role I trained people in a wide variety of organizations: from the UN in Nepal, to large corporates in India, to the government of Bhutan.

During my time in Asia I had the privilege to regularly work as a trainer and advisor for the Gross National Happiness Commission of the government of Bhutan. The small kingdom in The Himalayas does not govern its country based on GDP, but based on Gross National Happiness. The law book of Bhutan already emphasized in 1729 that all laws should contribute to the happiness of all sentient beings. In 1972, when the fourth king of Bhutan, Jigme Singye Wangchuk, was enthroned he introduced the concept of gross national happiness. It is a vision that invited me to investigate what it would be like if each government, each organization and each individual, would make all their important decisions based on how it will contribute to the happiness of others and themselves. It inspired me to investigate and contemplate why it seems to be so difficult to find genuine happiness in these challenging times.

When I was living, traveling and working in Nepal, India and Bhutan I moreover got introduced to Buddhism and started to practice meditation. This ignited my interest in the study and development of the mind. We use our mind in everything, hence developing the mind will change everything. While continuing my professional career at FranklinCovey in the Benelux, I advanced my meditation practice and in 2014 became a certified teacher in the program Cultivating Emotional Balance (CEB). CEB is a training program that was initiated by the Dalai Lama and developed with renowned meditation experts and psychologists. Since then I started teaching meditation and mindfulness. At the time initial ideas came to my mind in how to bring this to the context of the corporate world and develop an approach that helps people deal with the stresses and challenges of today’s life.

After having worked with FranklinCovey for seven years, I joined Philips as a learning consultant to build engaging and impactful learning solutions that develop strategic organizational capabilities. During my time at Philips I saw many people struggle with the daily demands and stress of working in a large corporate organization. I started facilitating mindfulness sessions and developed a mind training program that helped people to improve their mental wellbeing, peace of mind and effectiveness at work. This program, called Manage your mind@work, was developed specifically for a corporate context and draws on principles from psychology, neuroscience, life sciences, personal leadership skills, philosophy, ancient meditation traditions and mysticism. In short it builds on modern science and ancient wisdom to help people be more balanced and more effective in the workplace.

The manage your mind@work program was piloted at Philips and lead to some amazing transformation in the people who participated in the training program. This further strengthened my belief that you use your mind in everything, and by learning to manage your mind, you can manage everything. At the time the results of this pilot came out, a reorganization was announced at Philips. This also impacted me and I was made redundant. For me this was a blessing in disguise as it helped me to again rethink my career and mission in life. It enabled me to study health psychology. I researched theories, insights and behaviour change techniques to help people initiate, maintain and sustain health-related behaviour change. Moreover the great success of the manage your mind@work program gave me the courage and confidence to start my own business, the Mind@work Academy. The Mind@work Academy helps develop mental and emotional wellbeing and enables individual and organizational performance through mind training.

With great excitement to start my own business, I registered my company on February 25, 2020. One day later, the first case of COVID was reported in The Netherlands. The subsequent economic crisis, did not provide the best conditions to start a new business. I reflected on this challenge, my options and how I could best use this time of crisis. I decided to use this time to write this book and put my many years of research, reflection and practice into writing.

As the COVID crisis continued, I decided to also continue my professional career in learning and development at ASML, where I currently work as a leadership trainer. ASML is a large and fast growing corporate organization which develops and manufactures the most advanced lithography machines for the semiconductor industry.

Again I noticed the struggles of many people and how they have to battle pressure, stress and burn-out. At the same time I see in many organizations no real solutions are offered nor are they available in the market. What is offered are most often merely band aids, fragmented solutions or even worse oversimplified nonsense that sometimes does more harm than good. This further fuelled my passion to find and share solutions that address the core of the issue. I kept investigating the ideas of others, experimented with new ideas myself and with great enthusiasm kept working on developing a holistic approach that addresses the root causes of people’s distress. This book aims to offer no superficial fragmented band aids, but a real solution. 

They say the person who changes the most from a book is the person who writes it. This time of reflection and writing has helped me a lot to better organize my thoughts, reflect on my own habits, take a look in the mirror to see who I really am, what I truly value and how I can best handle the challenges of modern-day work and life. I still experience challenges in my life from day to day. It remains a challenge to keep my balance, focus on the things that really matter most and deal with the challenges that life throws at you. This book therewith also is a reminder and inspiration for myself. It is a summary of ideas, knowledge and practices that I have had the privilege to encounter in my life. It is mainly due to the great inspiration of others that this book came into being. As the sub-title of this book suggests I make use of modern science and ancient wisdom. I use and build on the ideas of others, adding a bit of my own ideas and shaping it into an integral holistic approach. It also contains some of my own reflections and ideas on a holistic path to find more peace of mind, meaning and fulfilment in life and at work. I build on the insights and findings of scientists, philosophers and sages and credit should go to them for their work and their inspiration. Of course I hope that some of the knowledge and insights shared in this book will also inspire you. Use this book as a guidebook to keep returning to for inspiration and guidance.

My motivation for writing this book is well reflected in the words of Shantideva, an 8th century Indian philosopher and Buddhist Monk. In “The Bodhisattva way of life” he writes: “There is nothing here that has not been said before, nor do I have any skill in the art of composition. Therefore I do not expect this to be of much use to others. And I have composed this solely to habituate my own mind. Owing to this, the power of my faith increases to cultivate virtue. Moreover, if someone else with a disposition like my own examines this, they might find it beneficial.” For me writing this book has helped me to better manage my mind and I am also not a skilled writer, yet I do hope that this will be beneficial for you and others who, like me, seek genuine happiness.

This book focuses on how you can find peace of mind, meaning and fulfilment in your  life. I believe that the path to achieve this, is through the mind. Who you are and who you become, what you do and what you neglect, your suffering and your happiness, everything in your life is shaped by your mind. Only by learning to manage your mind, you can manage your life. The same applies for your work: the results you get, how effective and efficient you are, how creative you are and how you collaborate with others: all is shaped by your mind. Only by learning to manage your mind, you can manage your work. Learning to manage your mind is the key to greater wellbeing and greater collaboration. Drawing on modern science and ancient wisdom we will engage in practices that will help you achieve a personal transformation.

It is also important to note that this book will not try to achieve an instant revolution. It is not about applying some tips and tricks that will turn around your life from one day to the next. This is a book that is about evolution: progressively developing towards experiencing more peace of mind, meaning and fulfilment. There is a lot of popular nonsense out there that claims to achieve a transformation by simply applying some simple tips and tricks. It is often claimed that you can turn your life around in a couple of days or weeks by focusing on changing one aspect in your life. If that were true, how come you still experience distress, restlessness and still have not been able to achieve that what you deeply seek? This is not a book that follows these popular trends. This book takes a holistic approach that will not change you from one day to the next. It is about real transformation, which is multi-faceted and a complex process. For most people, this requires a long process of continuous effort. Then gradually we evolve. It might not be noticeable from one day to the next, but over time we see a clear evolution. If you expect a revolution in a few days, I have to disappoint you. Investing just a short burst of your energy and effort in reading this book does not help you evolve and transform. It will be a long process that requires continuous attention, energy and effort to engage in the practices. But I promise it will be worth the investment! So this book does not give you immediate short-term satisfaction, but it does give you long-term fulfilment.  

The book has different stages and different levels in this process of evolution. There is also a risk in this process, in reading this book and in engaging in the practices. All breakthroughs to the new are accompanied with breaking with the old. Sometimes evolution comes with pain, suffering and crisis that is required to break with the old and make room for the new. It can very well be that by reading this book and engaging in the practices you will encounter a psychological or existential crisis. Your paradigms and beliefs will be challenged. What was once secure, no longer gives you security. What was once known, no longer provides you with the answers. The risk is that you lose your security and are faced with new unknowns in the next step in your evolution. These moments can evoke uncertainty, anxiety or even a crisis if not handled well. I believe the framework and book itself offers most of the answers to handle a possible crisis. If you do get stuck in one place, the answer can be found in other places in the framework itself. The framework and the process of evolution will increasingly become clear as you start to go through the book and the practices. Also this book is intended as a reference to be used in the training program Manage your mind@work. In this training program you are supported step-by-step in your development process. When you read this book by yourself and engage in the practices, it is very important to stress that if you get stuck along the way, or even encounter a mental or emotional crisis, that you seek professional support and guidance of someone who can help you. Be ready to be challenged, especially as we progress in the book towards chapters 11, 12 and 13. Realize that change and transformation often come with some kind of effort and struggle. Do not avoid these challenges, but avoid that your attempts for evolution turn against you and lead to your devolution. So when you get stuck, seek the help to move forward! 

Furthermore, I advise you to read the whole book so you have a complete understanding of the framework. Then it is not required to continuously practice all of the skills all of the time. See it as a cookbook. You have different recipes and ingredients. Pick and choose the practices that resonate with you and are beneficial to you. You are the cook. Choose the recipes and ingredients of your liking and ensure, like with food, that your practices are balanced and nurturing.  

Lastly, I feel that I did not write this book. It has written itself. There simply was no clear detailed plan. It simply came into being. I happened to encounter and experience many different perspectives on how to find more peace of mind, meaning and fulfilment. And over many years, I just kept returning to putting any valuable insights on paper. The book, the framework, new ideas, the words; they simply appeared. Now, after many hours, weeks and years of writing it is time to bring this first edition into the world. It is time to share it. The problems in the world are not getting smaller and I see many people in my surroundings suffer mentally and emotionally from the stresses of life. So I also feel a sense of urgency to share this book, even though it is not edited by a professional editor yet. This means this version is quite lengthy, there will be sections that do not run as smoothly as they should, there will be grammatical mistakes and typos. I am not a native English speaker and spelling has never been a core strength. Also there very likely are parts that are less relevant and could be removed from the book. Yet, I believe this book will be of benefit to people in this unedited version. I hope you can look beyond the flaws of an unedited manuscript and look at the lessons and meaning it conveys. So check it out for yourself and keep in mind the following words of Carlos Castaneda from “The teachings of Don Juan”: “Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you … Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question … Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t it is of no use.” So check it out for yourself and see if it is of any use to you. I do hope that the modern science and ancient wisdom shared with you will be of use to you. And if a next crisis comes, whether global, local or personal, I hope that the insights in this book will help you manage any challenge with serenity, compassion and wisdom.

Love,

Etienne

Veghel, 5 May 2025

1.   The ACTIVE problem

1.1 The 21st century worker: stressed, restlessness and unfulfilled.

The personal, relational and organizational costs of stress.

Distress and the brain.

The costs of stress. 

The power to choose. 

1.2 The me-model 

My environment. 

The outer self. 

The feeling self.

The narrative self.

The observing self.

Awareness. 

1.3 ACTIVE: The six problems that cause distress. 

The attention problem  – You have a busy and distracted mind. 

The vision problem – You look for happiness in the wrong places. 

The identity problem – You are not who you think you are. 

The connection problem – You are not authentically and altruistically in connection with others. 

The energy problem – You consistently drain and don’t recharge your energy. 

The transformation problem – You are not able to build and sustain new habits. 

2.  The SECRET solution: To get out, go in.

2.1 Principle-centred living. 

2.2 Principles of mind: Develop the inner resources to deal with external challenges. 

Mind training. 

The science and benefits of mind training. 

What meditation is and what it is not. 

2.3 The manage your mind@work framework: SECRET.

How these skills can help you and your organization.

2.4 Adhere to principles of self-transformation.

Is happiness a choice?

How long does it take for a transformation to occur?

The bias in reported benefits of meditation.

There is no magic bullet: take a principle-centred and holistic approach.

The limits of language. 

The discomfort of change and transformation.

3.  Train your mind – Part 1:  Develop your attention for calmness, focus and clarity; and find serenity within awareness.

3.1 From tension to calm.

Posture. 

The GOAL mindset. 

Meditation practice 1: Calmness. 

3.2 From distraction to focus. 

Meditation practice 2: Focus. 

How attention training changes the brain.

3.3 From dullness to clarity. 

Meditation practice 3: Clarity. 

3.4 Settling the mind in its natural state. 

Meditation practice 4: Settling the mind in its natural state. 

3.5 Awareness of awareness. 

Meditation practice 5: Awareness of awareness. 

4.  Rewire your mind: Master the science of behaviour change and build new habits. 

4.1 The 4I model of behaviour change. 

4.2 Insight. 

Understand the principles. 

Develop self-efficacy. 

4.3 Inspiration.

Realistic outcome expectancies. 

Link the change to a higher purpose.

4.4 Intention.

Set effective goals. 

Create implementation intentions.

4.5 Implementation.

Build automaticity of behaviour, do not rely on willpower. 

Deliberate practice to build emotional skills. 

Arrange support to facilitate change. 

Self-monitoring. 

Environment. 

Social support. 

4.6 Apply your mind: Your behaviour change plan.

5.  Shift your mind – Part 1: Find hedonic balance. 

5.1 Recognizing hedonia.

5.2 Develop a vision and purpose. 

5.3 Balance different essential needs. 

5.4 Replace disturbing pleasures with balancing pleasures. 

5.5 Practice contentment. 

5.6 Reflect on and accept impermanence. 

5.7 21 Questions to explore your vision and purpose. 

6.  Shift your mind - Part 2: Develop a eudaimonic life vision and purpose. 191

6.1 The useless pursuit of hedonic pleasures. 

6.2 Eudaimonia. 

6.3 SERENITY: Development of calmness and mental balance. 

6.4 WISDOM: Living a life in accordance with principles. 

6.5 ALTRUISM: Selflessness and care for others. 

6.6 Revisiting your vision.

Meditation practice 6: Vision visualization.

6.7 Apply your mind: From vision to action.

7.  Examine your mind – Part 1: Challenge your stories to stay cool when things get hot. 

7.1 Emotions out of control.

7.2 Understanding emotions. 

Emotions as means to self-knowledge. 

What happens in the space between a stimulus and an emotional response?

7.3 Use the space between stimulus and response to make wiser choices. 

Step 1. Self-awareness (Pause for STRESS). 

Situation.

Trigger. 

Response. 

Experience. 

State. 

Story. 

Interpretations. 

Rules. 

Judgements. 

Apply your mind: breathing, feeling, thinking. 

Step 2. Perspective taking (Take a TOSO). 

Is it true?

Step out of your story. 

Silence the storyteller. 

Attend to the other story. 

Step 3. Principle-centred action (Respond with WASH). 

Wisdom.

Altruism.

Serenity. 

Hedonic balance. 

7.4 Apply your mind (wisely). 

8.  Train your mind – Part 2: Enhance your awareness and ability to pay attention with mindfulness. 

8.1 No awareness = no choice. 

8.2 Mindfulness.

Some critical notes on modern mindfulness trainings. 

8.3 Awareness of body, feelings and senses. 

Attending to the body. 

Meditation practice 7: Bodyscan.

Meditation practice 8: Attend to feelings.

Be mindful of what you perceive through the five senses.

Meditation practice 9: Attending to the five senses.

8.4 Resting in the field of awareness. 

Meditation practice 10: Open monitoring.

8.5 Past, present, future and contentment in the present moment.

8.6 Intuition and insight: Intellectual knowledge and intuitive knowing.

8.7 Apply your mind: The attention matrix.

9.  Equip your mind: Create a supporting lifestyle for a healthy and energetic mind.

9.1 Your brain’s battery. 

9.2 Limit energy brain drain.

Create an enabling work environment. 

Block out distractions and stop multitasking. 

Have you tried talking about it?

Limit exposure to negative stimuli, (social) media fasting and smartphone detoxing. 

Get organized: Reduce mental clutter and plan your priorities. 

Get things out of your head. 

Plan planning time. 

9.3 Recharge your battery. 

Sleep. 

The consequences of poor sleeping habits. 

How big is the sleeping problem?

The purpose of sleep. 

The dos and don’ts of sleep. 

The problem is not not-knowing or not wanting, but actually doing. 

Nutrition.

What to eat?

When to eat?

“The common sense diet.”

Exercise. 

A lack of movement kills your brain cells. 

What exercise is good for your mind?

Breath.

Improving oxygen uptake. 

The benefits of nose breathing. 

Breathing technique for more energy. 

Breathing techniques for a calm mind.

Breathing technique to prepare for meditation.

Nature. 

Ethical and altruistic living. 

9.4 Really making a change. 

The minimum effect dose. 

Apply your mind: Your behaviour change plan.

The essential change: A mindset to live in accordance with nature and principles.

10. Connect your mind: Cultivate altruism, kindness and compassion.

10.1 The difference between self-care, selfishness, self-sacrifice and altruism.

Equanimity. 

Self-care. 

Self-sacrifice. 

Selfishness. 

Altruism and the four immeasurables. 

10.2 Developing altruism through loving-kindness and compassion.

The science of kindness and compassion.

The difference between empathy and compassion.

Kindness and compassion training. 

Self-compassion.

Meditation practice 11: Kindness and compassion for yourself. 

Meditation practice 12: Kindness and compassion for a loved one. 

Cardioelectromagnetic communication.

Apply your mind: Connection and compassion in action.

10.3 Extending your circle of compassion and true equanimity.

Meditation practice 13: Kindness and compassion for a neutral person, an enemy and all beings.

10.4 Empathetic joy. 

Meditation practice 14: Empathetic joy. 

10.5 What level do you connect from and to?

11. Examine your mind – Part 2: Know thy self. 

11.1 The identity problem and the me-model revisited. 

The I-illusion as the cause of all distress.

Me and my environment. 

Outer self. 

Feeling self. 

Narrative self. 

Observing self. 

11.2 The ground of our being and the two truths. 

See, connect and unify with the ground of being. 

The convergence of science and wisdom.

The two truths and three views. 

The path of human evolution towards self-realization.

11.3 Self-inquiry to break through the I-illusion and realize our true nature. 

The application of mindfulness to the body. 

Meditation practice 15: Examine your body. 

The application of mindfulness to feelings. 

Meditation practice 16: Examine your feelings. 

The application of mindfulness to mental objects. 

Meditation practice 17: Examine mental objects. 

The application of mindfulness to the mind. 

Meditation practice 18: Examine mind. 

The application of mindfulness to phenomena. 

Meditation practice 19: Examine the matrix of all phenomena. 

See the interconnected and impermanent self and no self. 

Break through conventional and habitual narratives. 

Meditation practice 20: Zen koan and story contemplation.

See everything as a dreamlike illusion.

Meditation practice 21: See everything as a dreamlike illusion.

Observe the observer.

Meditation practice 22: Attend to the I and I -thought. 

Centring prayer. 

Meditation practice 23: Centring prayer. 

Let go of all identification and rest in what is left. 

Meditation practice 24: Let go of what you identify with and rest in what is left. 

Meditation practice 25: Rest in conscious awareness and live as nothing is yours. 

Merging mind with space. 

Meditation practice 26: Merging mind with space. 

Give up doership and surrender to non-dual primordial being. 

The rationality and irrationality of God. 

Practice 27: Give up doership and surrender to God (as aseitas). 

12. Effortless living. 

12.1 Effortless actorless action.

Wu-wei and flowing with the Tao.

Free will and giving up the I that wills.

The know-how of not knowing.

Effortless dying.

12.2 They did NOT live happily ever after. 

What comes after the bliss?

See the whole elephant. 

Spiritual discernment. 

Seek guidance from a qualified teacher. 

12.3 Effortless awareness.

Stop trying and be the perfection you already are. 

Effortless serenity. 

Effortless altruism.

Effortless wisdom.

In the beginning awareness, in the middle awareness and in the end awareness.

13. Managing the crises in organizations, society & ecology. 

13.1 The synergy between modern science and ancient wisdom.

13.2 A new paradigm for leadership, business, politics, healthcare, education and parenting. 

A new leader. 

Lead yourself before you lead others. 

Leading others. 

A new organization.

Altruism: If you are not in the business of wellbeing, you have a meaningless business.

Serenity: Slow down to arrive faster. 

Wisdom: Embrace veracity and break the taboo of spirituality in business.

A new politics. 

A new healthcare. 

A new education, a new parent, … a new old.

Mark. 

Epilogue: Pointing at the key point. 

Appendix A: List of cognitive biases.

Appendix B: Goal hierarchy template